Monday, May 30, 2005

California Dreamin'

Like most guys, I'm a huge sports fan. While my preference is college football/basketball and baseball (go Cubs, this is our year) I also have an affinity for the NFL. In this case my team has and always will be the Kansas City Chiefs.

For years the Chiefs have played in front of packed crowds at historic Arrowhead stadium. It has long been considered the toughest place to play in the league (except in the playoffs, of course) and its following is second to none.

Now that all could be ending. The Chiefs announced today (somewhat indirectly) they are now in the LA Derby. The Race to the Rose Bowl. The Cascade to The Coliseum. Yes, LA has been without a team for 10 years now and the league wants a club their in the worst way. Expansion is out as the league is at 32 teams and wants to keep it that way. That leaves teams with bad cribs as the likely choice. The Hawk lists out the top 4 and why they are prime candidates:

Indianapolis Colts: They play in a bad dome in a small town. They also have the most exciting team in the league. Indy is not a large town by any means and it is a Pacers town first and foremost (its Indiana, basketball rules). Plus owner Bob Irsay is a movie producer. Odds on moving: 66%.

San Diego Chargers: They actually used to play in LA and are only 2 hours down the highway. San Diego is a small town that doesn't appear to be all that thrilled with ponying up for a new stadium. The town is in love with the Padres new facility Petco Park but not enough to want to double down on a new football stadium. Odds on moving: 20%.

New Orleans Saints:
They play in a rat trap, but this is a football town. Owner Tom Benson's ridiculous ideas of moving to either San Antonio or, heaven forbid, Albuquerque, show that they need to clear the air ducts in his luxury box because he is sniffing something weird. However, their stadium is falling apart and the state does not appear to be willing, or able, to pitch in to help renovate. Odds on moving: 5%.

Kansas City Chiefs: Like Indy they play in a small town, but they have a long tradition and football is what defines the city. Although an amendment to raise a sales tax to refurb historic Arrowhead failed last Fall, look for this to get worked out. The Chiefs have said they don't want a new facility (the only one on this list who feels that way) they just want a renovation. However, if the legislature doesn't act, the Hunt's won't wait around. They are the saaviest owners of the 4 on this list and they would be the most likely to cut an aggressive deal in LA. Odds on moving: 4%.

Out of the Running...

Minnesota Vikings: New owner Zygi Wilff is a real estate developer and already has grand plans for a Zygi World in nearby Blaine. The stadium would be just a piece of it. The Vikes will stay put.

San Francisco 49ers: In 97' the 49ers actually WON a ballot initiative for $100 in financing for a new stadium/mall near Candlestick Point. But Honest Eddie DeBartolo fell out of favor with the law shortly thereafter and the deal died. Now that ownership has stabilized (albeit poorly) under Eddie's sister, look for Mayor Gavin Newson to get a deal done in the next two years.

LA represents a great opportunity for a team. Yes the league has survived without a team but being the owner of LA's football team is still a great opportunity. It is hard to blame any owner with a bad stadium to stick in his current home.

Hawk's View: In the stadium game it is all about leverage. Once LA is gone the three remaining teams in my top 4 will have significantly less leverage than before. Sure KC, New Orleans or San Diego could say they are moving to Indy (after the Colts flee and head to LA in 09') but that is not the same leverage point. Look for all 4 to try to get their stadium saga done before LA is announced. However, expect all four to work in parallel with the league to punch their ticket to Hollywood.

Sunday, May 29, 2005

Europe Struggles to Find Itself

On Saturday France gave the EU the big FU when they voted down ratifying the EU treaty. The French (the 10th member to vote and the first to reject it) were unified from both sides of the political spectrum: they hated the idea of a EU constitution. The end result was a humiliating defeat for French premier Jacques Chirac, who had staked much of his political future on a oui' vote.

The no vote by the French just hastened the death of the EU contstitution. The Dutch (scheduled to vote later this week) would have given it a clog stomp anyway, so the demise of the constitution does not fall squarely at the feet of our beret wearing friends.

What it does is underscore a European wide problem. The now 25 member EU is, essentially, two organizations. You have the haves (Italy, Great Britain, France, etc) and the extremely have-nots (Estonia, Latvia, Greece). The problem is that the haves seemingly have less lately. Let's take a roll call to see how well they are doing...

Great Britain: Yes, Tony Blair won his election. But his party got slammed by the Tories and there is little doubt that he will not serve all of his third term. Immigration continues to be a hot topic as well as issues around the educational system. Plus, Great Britain continues to struggle to find its leadership role in the world. They are not the US and they don't have enough support in the EU. Plus, the new Queen to-be looks more like a King.

Italy: Now in their 175th government since WWII, the Italians seem to be struggling with this whole non-sensical idea of "globalization." Italian industry remains mostly small with the bigger firms squarely in bed with the government (I'm talking about you, FIAT). In addition, the country is run by a man who controls not just the government TV stations but the private ones as well (think Ruper Murdoch crossed by Ted Turner). Unemployment is up, morale is down and the new Pope isn't even Italian.

Germany: The fun loving Germans are swimming in high unemployment, an immigration problem and a rash of angry youth (an idea that history tells us should make us all nervous). That coupled with the fact they have one of the world's strongest and toughest trade unions (IG Metall) has made life less fun for the folks in Berlin. Regional elections slated for later this week may turn out the ruling Social Democrat party. But, hey, at least we're not...

France: Yes our beret wearing, wine swilling friends are having a rough go. As in everywhere else in Europe immigration is a huge problem and a divisive topic (especially toward Muslim immigrants). The country continues to try to balance its lifestyle needs (35 hour work weeks) with the realities of a global economy. Plus they have pushed to be THE leader in the EU but the bouncing of the EU constitution has soiled that dream.

Spain: Spain's biggest problem seems to be no one wants to be Spanish. Both the Basque region and the Catalonia region want more autonomy and less interference from Madrid. The government has to balance those needs while still keeping the country together.

Hawk's View: OK, they voted down the constitution but the EU is still the right way to go. Most of Europe's individual country problems are the same (immigration, unemployment, etc) and by sticking together they have a shot at solving them peacefully. They have already accomplished a common currency and (essentially) borderless nations. Most thought that would never happened but they pulled it off. They need to remember that and stay the course. Take the French rejection as a sign that the whole continent is not yet ready for a USA of Europe as Churchill desired. They need to use the rejection as motivation to understand what the citizens of Europe want and how its leaders can get it there together.

Friday, May 27, 2005

China Goes Thirsty

The May 21st issue of The Economist features a sobering article on page 46 regarding the dire problem China is facing in regards to water.

Never blessed with huge reserves of water to begin with, China's problems are becoming more and more outfront as the country's economy continues to grow at breakneck speed. While that is good for the country, it is bad for those in the country who yearn for things like drinking water.

China posseses less than a third of water, per capita, than the world average. Part of the problem is supply but the other is market issues. Up until 1985 water was free to the masses and today it is sold at well under market rate. The voracious thirst in the cities has left the countryside in the dust (1 out of 3 lack sufficient drinking water). So far China has paid only lip service to this problem. It is the elephant in the pagoda that is not being discussed.

But it better be discussed. Lack of water leads to big problems. It's not like there is a burgeoning global water market (like oil) that the Chinese can tap into to. Action is needed immediately.

Hawk's View: China is a country blessed with natural entrepreneurs who have shown they can do anything. Now it is time to put that ingenuity to good use and fast. China has things countries want, so they have bargaining chips to improve their water issues. However, if they don't look for a huge problem to arise. First from the countryside acting up toward the urban center's and then the country as a whole taking drastic measures to give itself a drink.

Wednesday, May 25, 2005

A View from Bizarro World

It's Wednesday which means it is writing day. Usually I like to wax poetic on the world of business but today I must admit I'm not finding a ton of motivation.

So I digress to my favorite target, North Korea. If you click on the link in the story title you will be taken to the official site of the North Korean "News" Agency. They post press releases on what is going on in Kim Jong-Il Town. When you go there, don't expect to read a positive stuff about the US. The North Korean's view of the US is a tad negative.

I recommend you check it out because it is both a funny and sad tale on what can happen to a nation under a totalitarian regime. It is shocking in this day and age of the Internet and 24/7 information that a place exists where the outside world is completely shut out.

It does exist and the best part is they have a nuke as well.

I'll be back with more banter on Friday.

Hawk

Monday, May 23, 2005

The Saga of Manchester United: Now Even the Brits Hate Us

For over a year, Malcolm Glazer (the amish beard sporting lad who owns the Tampa Bay Buccaneers) has been on a quest to buy the world's most popular (and profitable) sports franchise: Manchester United.

"Man U" as it is called in the business owns a global brand and is revered throughout the world (yes, even in the states). Fans pay hundreds of pounds a year for MANUTV and they line up in countries throughout the globe for the teams annual "barnstorming" tours.

So the idea of a "Yank" like Glazer buying out a coveted brand like this has caused quite a stir from Man U fans and the Brits responded in their usual restrained manner. See below...

Cars owned by Manchester United directors who sold their shares to Glazer have been damaged; a party held by one of Glazer's financial advisers, J.P. Morgan (nyse: JPM - news - people ), was invaded by fans, with wine being tipped over guests; and an invasion of the Manchester offices of another of Glazer's advisors, N.M. Rothschild, was only thwarted when the would-be protesters got stuck in an elevator.


The 30,000 strong fans who are part of "Shareholders United," A small but very vocal group who owns a minority interest in the club have threatened to boycott the club by cancelling season tickets and picketing outside of Man U's Old Trafford Stadium.

It's too bad that won't matter. Glazer owns 76% of the club (he bought over 40% from two Irish horse racing magnates) and he is now fully in charge. He plans to take the club private on June 22nd and install his son as the managing partner (now that's a good idea). Glazer's purchase has piled debt onto once debt free Man U and will put the pressure on the club to get it done on the pitch. With player costs skyrocketing in the Premiership (and across Europe as well) Man U will have to continue to pony up to keep the pound sterling flowing in.

Hawk's View: Glazer is going to pull a Soccer version of Jerry Jones and the Dallas Cowboys. When Jones bought the "Boys" in 1989 he quickly became the Black Sheep of the NFL. He cut his own deals and dared the league to do something about it. Glazer will try the same thing with the Premiership TV deal (which he is looking to vacate after next year) and may do the same with his worldwide sponsors. In the end, Man U's fans may not like the fact a Yank owns their club, but anybody who can turn the Tampa Bay Buccaneers into a winner cannot be underestimated. Look for Man U to get its swagger back both on the Pitch and in the boardroom.


Sunday, May 22, 2005

Olympic Sized Problems

NEW POSTING SCHEDULE: After a brief sabbatical, I've returned and plan to keep up a more robust schedule. Since this weblog thing has been a lot fun I decided that I needed to put myself on a regular schedule. Starting today I will post on Sunday, Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Without further ado let's get on with it.

Two weeks ago the Wall Street Journal penned a story on all the issues the country of Greece is having post-2004 Olympics. Apparently the nation that brought us Plato, Socrates and unrivaled air pollution found that hosting the Olympics 2000 years ago was much cheaper than it is in modern times.

Not only is Greece billions of dollars in the hole, they are stuck with venues they can't use and they have suffered a loss (yes, loss) in tourism revenue. Also, the generous handouts they used to receive as the last country on the bench for Team European Union are being pared down excessively due to the fact a JV squad of countries (Latvia, Estonia, Lithuania, Cyprus, etc) has joined the fold. Put those two together and Greece's economy is sliding further in the tank.

The Olympics are a phenomenal event that are unrivaled. Yes professionalism has spoiled it a bit but not even The World Cup captures the imagination of the world quite like the Olympics does every quadrennial. That being said, the hosting of the Olympics is a boondoggle. Country's become lackies and bobo's to the star-studded Olympic Committee in hopes their country will get picked to stage the Games. Country's feel that hosting of the Olympics is a historic opportunity that will bring them riches and wealth and catapult their nation into the hearts and minds of the world.

Only that is not the case. Budgets are overrun, facilities that will never be used again sit idle and suck off more taxpayer dollars (as an FYI, Motreal has still not paid off Olympic stadium after 30 years) and, most importantly, tourism does not go up.

This is where we get back to Greece. I've been to Greece and found it to be a magical place (outside of Athens, which makes New Orleans look like Geneva). Greece did not NEED the Olympics to give it relevance. The people and the land do that all on their own. However, when the first nation lost out on the 96 Games they were beside themselves. They felt that the centennial games could be held nowhere else but their land (and indeed today many Greeks feel every Summer Games should be held in Athens). They took it as a national quest to get the games back for 2004 and they stopped at nothing to make it happen. They got the victory they wanted but it was a hollow one.

Hawk's View: In the future nation's need to take the view offered by Great Britain's own Economist magazine. Earlier this year they begged the world to please not give the Olympics to the Island but give it to Paris instead. They argued that all the "development" that the Olympics would supposedly bring was not only false but was not even based on strong economic theory. In the end they argued that a country as great as Great Britain was better off without the Olympics. Yes, the Olympics are great but they do not warrant the heavy debt and burden that has become the price of admission for holding them.

Wednesday, May 11, 2005

More Engine Trouble for the Airline Industry

I've had it. I'm sick and tired of reading time after time about large airlines who can't make money. From United to American, to Delta to US Airways the insanity must stop.

What put me over the edge you say? It was reading yesterday that both United and Delta are headed for bigger and bigger losses and are (again) seeking more union concessions, to right their slagging business.

Management's first reaction to these type of issues is to always blame the unions. I'm certainly the farthest thing from a union apologist but this is not all their doing. It's management who cuts the deals with the unions, management needs to be held accountable. The only case where this does not hold serve is United because the employees own 45% of the company. But nonetheless it is the consistently bad deals that are being cut that astound and aggravate me.

Part of my ire comes from the fact that the airlines always think they have a safety net: the government. Unfortunately, they are right and history has played this out time and again that either the feds or the state will come to the rescue of a flaying carrier.

Why do we do this? Airline travel has a built-in demand but what it doesn't have is a guaranteed supply base. This is not Europe (where time and again national "flag" carriers are propped up as a matter of civic pride). What right do these businesses have expecting the government (read: taxpayers) to come to their rescue when they make lousy business decisions.

Hawk's View: This time my view is simple, no more bailouts. The free market always can show us the way. Let the airlines know that the great slush fund is over. A federal law needs to be enacted to save us from ourselves and make it illegal to bail out the airline industry. I even have the the perfect candidate to sponsor my idea: Senator John McCain. It would give the lifelong presidential candidate plenty of TV time and cleanse us from our past sins.

Memo to John Antiocco: That Flickering Light You See is Your Career Flaming Out...

Last week I wrote (rather joyfully I might add) about the nonsense that took place during Blockbuster's earnings call. The highlight being Blockbuster's largest shareholder being hung up on during a diatribe toward CEO John Antiocco.

Oh what a difference a week makes. Today during a proxy vote three people lost their board seats to candidates backed by Carl Icahn (who was also voted on to the board). One of the three who lost their seat was Antiocco. Quite an in-your-face for a company CEO. Icahn stated he wants Antiocco to stay on, but his reason are not all altruistic. One is Antiocco's parachute is $54M and there's no way Uncle Carl's ponying up that kinda cash. The second reason is Icahn can now mock, torture and ridicule Antiocco for the next three quarters. The CEO may as well paint a target on his chest to make it easier.

So what does this mean for Blockbuster? Simply the following:
1. Bye-bye online rental business: Antiocco has spent millions (and pledged 150M more this year) to boost Blockbuster's online business. Icahn is no fan of this program and I do not think there is any way he will continue to support it. If he decides to keep the online business, look for him to try to swing a deal to buy NetFlix.
2. A mucho dividend is coming: Icahn is seeking a big time dividend. As an owner of almost 10% of Blockbuster's shares you can see why he would want that one. He's notorious for wringing companies out of cash for dividends and cash rich Blockbuster certainly will have the means to pay out.
3. An LBO (No Reasonable Offer Will Be Refused!): Since taking over another video chain is out (because Blockbuster got beat out by MovieGallery for Hollywood Video) Uncle Carl is going to be combing the halls of Wall Street looking for a buyer. Perhaps it will be the individual he was starting to tell us about last week before Antiocco hung up on him.

Hawk's View: Blockbuster's stock is now a short term play and Icahn (despite preaching patience publicly) will want to cash out this puppy ASAP. Don't be surprised if Blockbuster is not under the ownership of a KKR or Providence Equity Partners by the start of football season.

Monday, May 09, 2005

MCI's Shareholders to Qwest: OK, Now We Want You to Stick Around...

Newsflash: After walking away from the MCI board because they were repeatedly treated like an undocumented worker at the Republican National Convention, Qwest is being courted by several of MCI's largest bond and shareholders to "stay in the running" for the telco.

Apparently MCI's shareholders have finally learned to carry the one and realize that Qwest's offer of $30 is more than Verizon's offer of $26 a share (no seriously, it is more. I checked.).

Hawk's View: I'd love to say that Qwest should pull a Blockbuster and hang up on MCI but if they really want them, it now appears they have a shot. Although if Qwest CEO Richard Notebaart has a stick of backbone to him he will let the masses know that his best offer is on the table.

Stay tuned...

Saturday, May 07, 2005

Crank Yanker Carl Gets Punk'd by Blockbuster

Admitteldy I was down in the dumps last week. My two favorite punching bags (MCI and VOOM/Cablevision), had moved through a lot of their nonsense and I was without a favorite target.

But just then, the phone rang and a buddy of mine told me about the clown show that took place during Blockbuster's Q1 call. Had I heard about it? No I said but I would definitely check it out. Boy am I glad I did.

Blockbuster's Q1 call was one for the ages. The company, reeling through several major changes lately (ending of "late fees", losing the battle for Hollywood Video to rival MovieGallery and launching an online rental service a la Netflix) shared their Q1 earnings to the world. The news was not a blockbuster.

But that wasn't what made it great. The great part was Blockbuster's largest shareholder Carl Icahn calling in to rip current CEO John Antiocco about Antiocco's past and future decisions.

Icahn is launching a proxy fight to replace 3 board members (and he would love to shove Antiocco out the door). He has not said it publicly but past history suggests that Carl wants either an LBO or a huge dividend to take place so he can maximize his return on investment. Carl has made his living with this type of "investing" and if you think I'm nuts ask the folks in Saint Louis who used to work for Carl when he "rescued" TWA in the early 90's.

After reading off the company numbers, Antiocco went through a 15 minute spiel that basically ripped Icahn and his "ideas" for the company. Upon completion, the call-in portion of the program took place. After three softball questions, Icahn was up (FYI...kudos to Antiocco for letting the operator take Icahn's call, although I bet he wishes he hadn't).

Icahn had two basic questions: Would Antiocco forego any bonus pay this year if the company did not hit their targets and would he also put the whole board up for reelection if, again, the company failed to make their numbers?

Antiocco promptly put on his top hat, grabbed his cane and cued the music. It was time to start dancing. His tap routine was pretty good as he did not answer any of Icahn's questions (both fair in my book).

Icahn then told Antiocco he was, essentially, lying when Antiocco said there was no credible LBO offer for Blockbuster. Icahn started to say he personally heard of more than one offer but...

But he didn't get to finish, because they hung up on him. Yes, mid-sentence, Blockbuster hung up on its largest shareholder. That's the equivalent of shoving your best customer out the door because it's five minutes past closing. Bad idea and Carl has a long memory. By the way if you have not heard the call, go to blockbuster's website and check it out. Carl comes in 45 minutes into the conversation.

Hawk's View: Next week will be a fun one as the proxy vote to replace three board members takes place. Look for Icahn's guys to lose, but also don't be surprised if Blockbuster tries to pull a Verizon and buy out Icahn just to get him out of their hair. Antiocco and company can't afford to spend the next year fighting Icahn every step of the way. "Uncle" Carl won't quit until he gets what he wants (the board and Antiocco replaced). If Blockbuster wants to continue down its path, it needs total focus. While it does need money from guys like Carl Icahn to finance its dreams, it does not need Carl Icahn.

Thursday, May 05, 2005

Detroit Gets Thrown into the Junk Drawer

Yesterday I waxed poetic about Kirk Kerkorian's huge purchase of GM shares. The move sent GM's stock soaring and despite issues around their huge pension committments, made it a sunny day in Detroit.

What a difference a day makes. Today GM AND Ford had their bonds downgraded to junk status (so much for my theory that Kerkorian's purchase would improve GM's bond status.

Right, wrong of indifferent, the auto industry is the sounding board for our overall economy. The auto industry touches so many different facets of our economy that when it is up usually the US is doing great. However, when it is down, usually the economy follows suit.

The fact that two of our big three auto titans now have a junk rating is not good news for Detroit. Junk status bonds means higher borrowing costs and generally leads a company down a dark path.

Hawk's View: Yesterday I stated that Kirk Kerkorian's purchase would lead to heavy handed with the UAW to get serious benefit concessions. I still think that is true, but now that both GM and Ford are trading bonds at Kmart (pre Eddie Lampert) levels means the situation is graver than I suspected. Expect the rhetoric to be fierce and venomous.

At least the Motor City has the Super Bowl to look forward to...

Wednesday, May 04, 2005

Kirk Takes GM for a Drive

Kirk Kerkorian, the 176 year old investor extraordinaire, announced today his intention to double his investment in General Motors to almost 9% of all outstanding stock. The news sent GM's stock up $5 in daily trading and no doubt made life in the Motor City a little sunnier.

For those of you unaware, GM is being crushed under a pension health care burden brought on by its drunken sailor like negotiations in the late 90's with the United Auto Workers (UAW). Today this burden represent around $1500 a car and will only get worse as GM's employees age and visit the doctor more often. The crisis has led to a wide game of speculation about GM's future. Specifically would the old dog of Detroit seek bankruptcy protection to get out from under this burden.

Lucky for them Old Kirk sees GM as a value. His investment didn't just jolt the stock price, but it also pushed up GM's bonds (trading near junk status). Thus making borrowing a little cheaper.

Kerkorian's lifeline certainly helps GM but the burden of pension and health care costs (GM currently has to support 2 retired employees for each current employee). The upcoming negotiations with UAW will no doubt be bloody.

Hawk's View: OK, Kirk's not really 176 (he's 87 and looks pretty good for it as well). But the idea that he won't seek a board seat or push for more control is a tad naive. Just as he drove Chrysler into the arms of Daimler-Benz 10 years ago (done primarily because of his hostile takeover bid) look for Kirk to leverage his huge influence and extract painful changes to GM's corporte culture (especially the unions). See the quote below from the linked article as potential proof of coming actions.

Kerkorian's hand could pressure GM and the United Auto Workers union to cut jobs and close plants to make the company more competitive, said David Cole, director of the Center for Automotive Research in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Stay tuned...

Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Qwite a Shafting

Yesterday I closed the books on the non-stop nonsense that was VOOM. Today I extend that same courtesy to the Fixed Line Freaks from MCI, Qwest and Verizon.

In case you missed the memo, Verizon (as written here previously) came back to MCI with an offer 0f $26 bucks a share (less of course than Qwest's $30) and as expected, MCI took it.

That's right folks. The days of taking the best offer for your shareholders is now officially over. It is now chic to except less (4 bucks I guess is the baseline) for your company. I know, I know, Qwest is under a mountain of debt and everybody loves Verizon's $99B in market cap, but the bottom line is the MCI's board did a lousy job of negotiating this deal. As a matter of fact they owe Qwest a great big thank you (in lieu of the F-you they gave them) for driving up the price. If it wasn't for Qwest MCI's shareholders would have limped away under Verizon's first offer (low 20's).

As a result of this maneuver, the Hawk is adding an award (given to the lamest move by an executive/company/board) to bizpinions.com. I'm calling it the Enron Prize (I'm actually commandeering the name from Houston based Enron, who actually gave out an Enron Prize in the late 90's to world humanitarians. Shockingly, it is no longer give out). The first Enron Prize goes to MCI CEO, and master negotiator, Michael Cappelas. If this guy is sitting at your poker table, he's the sucker.

Hawk's View: Qwest, Public Citizen and several other "consumer" groups will sue to try to stop this deal but they will lose. Verizon will swallow up MCI and Qwest will be left twisting in the wind looking longingly for another partner. Maybe they can team up with Charter and form the world's most leveraged company...

Monday, May 02, 2005

The Curtain Falls on VOOM

Yesterday was the end of the company that got me started as a "blogger." VOOM, the poorly conceived satellite company from Cablevision, shut down yesterday after hundreds of millions of dollars in losses. Along the way a family was divided, an intense boardroom battle took place, board members were fired and a one time visionary saw his dreams for one last big score dashed.

It was a spectacular failure. One that will be discussed throughout the years in business schools around the world.

Now it is over. Satellite geeks held an impromptu vigil via a chatroom waiting for the moment until the service went dark. Alas it did at around 6AM EST.

With VOOM gone, I'll have to move on to other targets (there will no doubt be many) but I will always have a soft spot in my heart for the Family Dolan. It was they who inspired me to start my rants and it was the feedback from my colleagues that kept me going.

To stay in character I will close the book on VOOM with a top five list of things the family can do to stay busy. Cue the clown music...

1. Jimmy Dolan can hit the road and promote his book "The Idiot's Guide to Running an NBA Franchise."

2. The whole family can go out on a crusade to demand the closing of the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building as they are "competitors" for the NYC entertainment dollar (editor's note: the Family Dolan, owners of Madison Square Garden, has been trying to torpedo the Jets stadium deal on these grounds, why not expand).

3. Launch a satellite service that will offer no local channels BUT will offer 21 obscure channels that no one will watch (check that, they already did this one).

4. Remove landmines on the property between Jimmy and Old Man Dolan's house.

5. Go on tour to various satellite conventions where rubes from www.satelliteguys.com can attend and treat them as if they are Star Trek like royalty.

Hawk's View: Cablevision's board finally get their company back but some of us will miss the nonsense. Notably me. To show my affinity, I've aimed my satellite dish at half staff.